Just the Way You Are

I know I know. I love to choose song titles or famous blurbs as my blog titles but I can't help it. 

It is seriously dangerous for me to stop and think. Trying to cope with not only my feelings but watching my kids and mother-in-law deal with this is just crazy. 

Okay, enough self-tormenting. Last night we went to my son's spring concert. The winter concert seemed a whole lot better but this was really short. They did great and the sun was still out when we got back home :)

Trying to get out of my comfy bed with little feet all over the place shouldn't be too hard right? Lol.. I work again tonight.. Uggghh... 

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all mommies around the world! 

Today, The Lord blessed me with another day to enjoy this day with my children.  Although they drive me bananas all the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

They are absolutely amazing just like their  Daddy. It also reminds me of the only other Mother's Day I've spent without my husband. He was deployed then as well. It's our year of firsts. Our first year in NY. Our first deployment as a family. Our first year that Daddy will miss all of our birthdays. 

But, we continue to keep our faith in The Lord and pray for his safe return.

Feeling the Burn and More

So I have started to work out again. In early March, I restarted doing Insanity until I hurt my back. So I had to take a break and let my body heal itself. The combination of exercising and stress at that time for me was not good. 

Now that I know my back is okay and it does feel a lot better than before,

I have been going to the gym in my community to get my sexy back. 

I'm what my friends call skinny curvy. But I miss being toned and working out. When I was in the Army, I had to go into pt remedial because I couldn't finish the pt test due to illness. So those stupid two months, I busted my butt to get out of it and to gain my afternoons back.

My brothers in crime, would push me beyond my limits and made sure that I continued to work out. When I was pregnant with my son, all that stopped since I wasn't sure if I should continue pushing myself really hard exercising. I know now that I should've exercised that way I wouldn't have had such a rough pregnancy in regards to feeling morning sickness and so forth.

Anyways, I've been going to the gym to relieve stress. Right now, I'm a mommy on her own. I want to be able to chase my kids and show them that exercise is great for the mind and body. Today is the dreaded ab workout. It's the one area I used to be so proud of. Now it's the area that's a little squishy and comfy to my kiddos. Lol.. 

I had to change my workout schedules because I tend to workout right before I head to work or school. So I would be out of energy during my shifts. Now, I'm just going to workout at night that way I will be able to sleep throughout the night.

Only 200 Something More Days to Go....

I thought I had prepared myself for this. But as the days continue to feel longer, the stress of it all has begun to wear on me. Migraine after migraine it feels like when we were living apart before. Only that time I had our little boy with me.

I wish you were here to hold us and make us feel better. It just isn't the same without you. Seeing your handsome smiling face is what makes my day. I cry when no one is watching. I cry when I'm in the car alone. I cry in the darkness of the night. I hope and pray that you return home soon.

Another day..

On my day off, I'm still running around getting errands done. My daughter isn't feeling well today either. Thank God for my MIL. If she wasn't here to help me, I would have done a Britney Spears and shaved my hair off. It's been a stressful week but it is slowly getting better.

We will be celebrating my son's birthday on Sunday. It's the second birthday we will be celebrating without my husband. It's a reminder of what my family endures to support our troops.

I am grateful to simply be alive and able to watch my children grow each and every day. I know there are others out there that may be going thru the same thing or has lost someone. I can't imagine the pain for those who endure losing their loved one. I know for myself, I not only live thru the anxiety and pain of being away from my love but watching my kids endure this too has been so difficult. I just want to cry with them when they call out for their Daddy. I just want to stay home and squeeze them to make them feel better.

But this is our reality and it isn't a pleasant one. One day soon, we hope to never have to endure another deployment. But please pray for the safety of our troops and their return to their families as well.