May is the Month of Hope

This month has brought so much joy into my life both in the past, present, and near future.  My handsome son was born in May.  We finally received the phone call for our house.  We will be moving into our house sometime next week.  It feels like after waiting for so long, everything is falling into place.  I am so thankful that the Lord has continued to bless us.  I know that although I feel like it is taking forever to get something, I still have to have a small bit of faith that everything will work out.

This is also my month of craziness.  I am taking more classes for school.  My short term goal for this year is to get my associate's in HIT and my long term for next year is getting my bachelor's in Technical Management in Health Information Management.  I am slowly coming to terms of letting go of my past dreams and moving forward with building on my new dream. 

Before, I had so much anxiety.  I had put on so much pressure on myself to succeed to get into the nursing programs that I lost myself in the process.  I forgot about how much I enjoyed working with patients.  All I could think about was the stress and anguish I felt when I worked in Hawaii.  Of course my experience in that one practice overshadowed the best time of my medical career at my first practice.  I needed to find a way to motivate myself.  To find something I am good at and that will continue to help my family in the future.  The more I continued to compare the old with the new, I saw that me becoming a nurse would help but then it would also be a curse.

How could I take care of my family if I'm not around yet I'm too busy helping other people?  My parents are getting older and having more health issues now.  In my culture, it is usually the eldest or the daughter of the family that is thrusted into taking care of their elders.  For me, I love taking care of my family.  It is my way of giving back to them.  My only way of repaying them for all the hard work they had to do in order to provide for me and my brother. 

As I continue on my journey to becoming a better daughter, mother, wife, student, and human being, I must always stay optimistic even though things may seem cloudy at the moment.