Thank Goodness It's November

October was a mess of all sorts for me and my family. 

Medical issue after issue, children who have lost their minds thus causing me to lose mine as well, and to top it off my other half had to go away for training.  It hasn't even been a week, but I've essentially become Bella from New Moon.  You know the part right after Edward ditched her for her own safety? Yea, that's me alright.  I have my babies to snap me back to reality, but those moments always seem to creep back to me.

I know I know, I shouldn't complain.  He hasn't deployed yet and he is in a safe and secured area right now.  The last six years, we've been extremely lucky to have avoided this extra training and preparation for deployment.  Now that it's looming in front of us, I'm having trouble adjusting.  I'm HUMAN everyone.  I try to not feel the way I feel.  But, it's definitely hard. 

This is the first time that it wasn't just me and a baby.  It's me + two young children adjusting to this type of change.  So when the new year rolls around, this could get better or worse.  I hoping that it won't get worse. 

When I try to vent out loud, others think I'm not grateful.  They think I'm taking everything for granted.  Yes, I signed up for this when we got married and started a family together.  I knew what being a military spouse has to deal with.  But, everyone is different.  Everyone handles the SAME situations DIFFERENTLY. 

I try to be understanding and yes I know I'm a bit highstrung now but I'm working on it.  I'm trying to keep busy by cooking, doing homework, focusing on doing things to distract my children from feeling the same way I feel.  My rock, my Mr. Stability, isn't here to keep me level. 

I appreciate everything my husband has done for our family.  I also appreciate what he has to continue to do for our country and our family as well while in the miltiary.  I may joke a bit too much with him about our temporary long-distance romance but he knows this is how I'm trying to cope with it. 

Okay, so enough moping..

We've been up here for almost eight months now.  We've seen slight snow, lots of rain, lots of wind, dark clouds, and more bipolar weather.  It could be 40*F outside then an hour later it'll be 60*F??? Really??  But, again we are grateful that our weather hasn't been as bad as what Hurricane/Superstorm Sandy has done to the coastal East Coast.  I'm praying for my friends that live in the City and for everyone else that has been affected by this weather catastrophe. 

Although I know Sandy wouldn't directly come this far north, you never know what could happen.  Mother Nature has a sick way of making people face reality sometimes.  So, I went overboard and made sure that if Sandy did bring extra weather to NNY, that we would be prepared for anything. Everything that the CDC tells you to prepare for in case of a hurricane or a zombie apocalypse, that's what I did.  I was not taking any chances especially with my children. 

I also had to have a talk with my kids about what is going on, why did school get cut short that day or cancelled, and what we may have to do in case the storm gets really bad up here.  As the day went by, the winds picked up ALOT.. We also had rain off and on, but in the end it was only unsecured trash cans (including mine) that almost ran away from their homes.  I wasn't sure what to do with the trash bins, but the next time a storm comes, I am definitely putting them in my garage.. LOL.

Well after Sandy, I began to try to get back to the positive things and focus on my kids and school. We started going out and doing things that we normally wouldn't do.  We went to the Mall for Halloween.  We've also been hanging out with other friends so that we aren't stuck at home wondering what to do with ourselves that day. 

The one thing that I know is my main source of therapy, is cooking.  If you know me, I love to cook.  I shouldn't be so defensive about my cooking but, that's how I'm feeling right now.  Please know that cooking is my way of dealing with my own personal reality.  That sounds insane, but it's my way of coping.  I don't do well with long separations, you could ask my really good friends that had to deal with me when I was in Oklahoma.  But, once I am back in my groove I will be fine again.  I'm hoping that my other half will be back soon.  If not, that's okay.  That's how the military is. 
I don't want to ask anyone to try to understand how I feel or to try to put themselves in my shoes because it's just complicated.  I always remember that I am HUMAN and that it's okay to have feelings.  It's also a phase that I am slowly working with so that when the real time comes, at least I can look back to today and know that it's gonna be all right. 

A Renewed Sense... For Cooking

For the next three weeks, I will be a single mom again.  Here are the days of very long days and extremely short nights.  My husband has a new assignment in which I may only see him through my eyelashes and so forth.  Thus, I will be endeavoring once again to cook and bake as much as possible to relieve myself of the feelings I wish not to encounter.  I will also be hitting the gym today... Pray for me people because I will be one burnt cookie by the time I'm done.

I'm going to attempt to make ensaimadas today.  Usually, the only things that come out awesome when I am baking are cookies, cupcakes, cakes, meat and poultry.. Me and loaves of bread or other bread-like items usually haven't gone too well... Then again, baking bread is a dream and a challenging one at that.  Thus, my microwave is calling me at the moment.. For brunch, I'm making Okazuya-Style Corned Beef Hash Patties with my Peas N Carrots Fried Rice... Till tomorrow..

I'm Back.. Again.. Maybe

Moving to New York has been a welcoming challenge.  I'm still taking my online classes pursuing my Associate's and Bachelor's degrees in HIT/HIM.  We knew we were walking into something that we couldn't control.  His hours have been all sorts of wacky and my impatience has gone away.  Recruiting hours certainly has nothing on his current work schedule.  

I woke up really early today because I had thought he had already left for work.  He had kissed me goodbye and went downstairs to drive to work.  Yet, ten minutes later I hear a knock and a bag rustling  in my living room.  I must have my mother's ears because those sounds drove me to walk downstairs half-asleep to see if he was still here.  And he was.  

As I cuddled up to him with my head on his chest, I started to cry as I am now.  Telling him how much I miss him.  I would give up everything for this man because I know he has done the same for me. For US.  We sat holding each other waiting patiently as we talked about our future.  

I see how tired he is and I just wish I could go back to work again.  That way he can rest.  I know him and how much he internalizes everything. I may be a Type A personality but at least I get it out of my system.  Heck, he hasn't gone overseas for duty yet his work makes it seem like he's far away already.  

There are times that I wish I was back in Hawai'i.  With my family and friends around me and the kids. Where I can take a drive to my favorite sushi place or eat some dim sum in Downtown.  I would Skype with my brother and parents and wish I was still there with them.  Whenever he had to work late, I could always go to my parents house and hang out there with my kids till he came home.  That really helped with the loneliness.  But, it's different now.  Again.

You would figure that a woman like me would be used to her military man being gone due to work gets easier.  But, it doesn't.  It actually gets harder.  We have been together for almost a decade now.  I'm a lot more understanding now than I was when we were first married.  Through the years and training myself to be a semi-Stepford wife, I kept telling myself that I've been through one deployment. That I can get through this.  I know I can do this.  I just wish he was home with me.  

Home is where your heart is.  Like the many military wives out there, I just wish my heart was home with me.  Away from the early wake-up calls.  Away from the talks of traveling far and defending our rights from others.  Away from getting up extremely early to going to PT in the morning.  Away from the ridiculous work call hours.  

People ask me how do I deal with all of this.  I try to stay busy.  I have a schedule where I keep the kids busy so that I don't dwell on what could be and how I wish things were.  But, my reality is keeping my family healthy physically and emotionally.  That also means, that this mommy needs to suck it up.  To stop the crying and get some rest before her little ones are up and awake for the next 18 hours straight.  WITH NO NAP.  Because my kids don't believe in naps.  So back to sleepy land I go.  

IMY and ILY, XOXO

A Place to Call Home in Northern NY

We finally moved into our house about two weeks ago. We are so relieved that we are no longer transients and can enjoy our familiar comforts. I've began to cook again and my children are thriving in our new place. We've been fishing, cooking, working, trying to put everything away so that we can have more guests over. Not that having unpacked boxes of toys will stop me from having guests over. Hopefully in due time we can travel to Canada and other states before the new year approaches.

May is the Month of Hope

This month has brought so much joy into my life both in the past, present, and near future.  My handsome son was born in May.  We finally received the phone call for our house.  We will be moving into our house sometime next week.  It feels like after waiting for so long, everything is falling into place.  I am so thankful that the Lord has continued to bless us.  I know that although I feel like it is taking forever to get something, I still have to have a small bit of faith that everything will work out.

This is also my month of craziness.  I am taking more classes for school.  My short term goal for this year is to get my associate's in HIT and my long term for next year is getting my bachelor's in Technical Management in Health Information Management.  I am slowly coming to terms of letting go of my past dreams and moving forward with building on my new dream. 

Before, I had so much anxiety.  I had put on so much pressure on myself to succeed to get into the nursing programs that I lost myself in the process.  I forgot about how much I enjoyed working with patients.  All I could think about was the stress and anguish I felt when I worked in Hawaii.  Of course my experience in that one practice overshadowed the best time of my medical career at my first practice.  I needed to find a way to motivate myself.  To find something I am good at and that will continue to help my family in the future.  The more I continued to compare the old with the new, I saw that me becoming a nurse would help but then it would also be a curse.

How could I take care of my family if I'm not around yet I'm too busy helping other people?  My parents are getting older and having more health issues now.  In my culture, it is usually the eldest or the daughter of the family that is thrusted into taking care of their elders.  For me, I love taking care of my family.  It is my way of giving back to them.  My only way of repaying them for all the hard work they had to do in order to provide for me and my brother. 

As I continue on my journey to becoming a better daughter, mother, wife, student, and human being, I must always stay optimistic even though things may seem cloudy at the moment. 

Stubborn Folks

I have awesome parents.  Although they may not agree with everything I have done in my life, they still supported me no matter what. It took me many years to realize that they do in fact love me and that the way they show their love is just different from the way I wanted them to.  American television gives us a sense of false reality.  Where you think this is how my parents should be but in fact they are truly opposite.  My parents moved from the Philippines to Hawaii many years ago.  They both worked hard to bring both sides of our family to the states so that they would be able to see and enjoy the new world as well.

During childhood, I rarely got to see my parents because of the jobs they worked at.  My maternal grandmother was the one who was with me and my brother for the majority of our childhood.  She too worked but later on quit to help out with raising us.  I have many cousins and being the oldest, I too got to enjoy the perks of baby-sitting.

As my teenage years passed by slowly and painfully, so began the times of fighting and arguing.  They weren't around to ask me what was really wrong or how my day was. It was always about getting decent grades, staying out of trouble, and following their rules.  If you know me, I tend to walk on the dark side quite often.

I did things to get their attention without me realizing what I was doing.  As I continue to look back on what I've done, I can't take them back .  I can only try to make things right and to keep moving forward.  It has been a roller coaster of a ride when it came to my mom.  I have always been a daddy's girl and we never fought.  Although I would push his buttons and he is the kind of guy you do not want to see mad.

I was depressed because of things that happened to me that I couldn't discuss with them.  I wanted to run far away so that there wouldn't be anymore fighting.  I wanted to see the world through my own eyes not how my parents envisioned for me.  When I joined the Army, it was the best thing I ever did for myself.
Not to mention I met my best friend and partner for life then too.

Life was falling into the place.  I became a mom a couple years after joining the military.  I got out to enjoy my son and to enjoy the married life as well.  I learned to be truly independent since my hubby was deployed.  I wasn't really talking to my parents then because at the time my mom was upset that I was pregnant at 19.  Unlike the idiots on MTV, I was already married and had a job when we found out I was pregnant with Adam.

I continued to pursue my education while raising my son on my own for pretty much the first year of his life.  All this was occurring and yet no one came to visit us.  The only family I did have was my neighbors next door and my in-laws that came to check on me once a month.  After we found out we were pregnant with Mikayla, I had hoped my parents would come to visit us that time around.  But, I guess going to Vegas was more important.  It sucked but I understood that they had different priorities than I did.

We worked hard to fix the relationships and it is now to the point where I feel I am the therapist and nurse of the family. My maternal and paternal sides of my family has numerous health issues that I must stay vigilant about constantly.  Adult-onset diabetes and high blood pressure are issues I know I can prevent as long as I maintain a balanced diet and stay in shape as well.

BUT, the one thing I have to say about my parents is that they both very stubborn.  While my mom pretty much almost tears her arm off because she was cleaning, my dad is trying to make me bonkers by not taking his blood pressure medication.  I wish at times that we did not move away so that I could be in Hawaii to take care of my ailing family but at the same time... They need to take care of themselves too.

I think this is one of the sub-conscious reasons I am not willing to pursue my nursing career yet.  I'm already trying to do so much but I do need time for myself and my own family as well.  The duty to take care of others is so strong in me but at the same time, I tend to lose myself and quickly burn out when doing so.  They want me to become a nurse to make lots of money and to help care for them when they are older.  As the oldest and the daughter, I would always have a place for my parents to come and stay with me when that time comes.  But, if I became a nurse, I wouldn't be able to have time to care for them while having a crazy hectic schedule.  I would probably want to work in the ER department in a hospital or something like that.  Only because crazy people like being around people just like them.

I just want everyone in my family to be okay health-wise.  I want them to be around to enjoy birthdays and other milestones in my children's lives.  Only then would I be able to say to myself, it is going to be alright.  That I can pursue my dream and not have to stop because of family issues.  I guess I know where my stubborn genes come from.

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Why is it that parents are so hard to talk to sometimes?  They agree with what you are telling them, but yet you all know they are not going to listen to you.  As I said earlier, my parents like to ignore the medical advice given to them and just do whatever is okay with them at the moment.  I would like to tear my hair out each time they tell me something that is going wrong.  However, I am unable to do so because I do not like inflicting such pain on myself.  Also because I have very thin hair which would literally make me bald if I ever attempted to do so.  I hope that my parents will quit being hard-headed and take their health seriously.  Sometimes, I think I'm their parent.  Jeez louise.. I just hope my kids don't kill me slowly like how their grandparents are to me right now.

Fears of Pursuing My Dream

I first began working with patients right out of high school.  I worked for an ophthalmologist but I wasn't properly trained to do any of the work.  After that horrid experience, I stayed away from the medical field for a very long time.  It was during my first pregnancy that I decided to suck it up and become a medical assistant to help pay bills.  This second exposure to patients was amazing.  I met a lifetime friend, Kat, and worked almost non-stop because I loved my job at the clinic.  After my second pregnancy, I took time off to raise my baby and go back to school to finish my AA in Liberal Arts.  It was my intention to get my pre-requisites for the nursing program out of the way so that I will be able to focus on the nursing courses I need to complete the bachelor's program at a school nearby.

It is so difficult to become a nurse especially when you are married to a soldier.  The military is so unpredictable that I have become so resistant to completing this dream that I have.  Thus, I had decided to change my major to health information technology and management because I can complete my Bachelor's degree online.  But, as I try to walk away from nursing, my heart wishes that I kept my focus on my dream.  It's so difficult to prevent internal torment.

I have spent the last six years of my life in climbing the nursing ladder yet knowing how much my kids need me during this crazy transition is more important.  I made a promise to my children that I will always be there for their extracurricular activities and that I will never be too busy to spend time with them. During my last year of medical assisting in Hawaii, I felt so burnt out.  I felt that I was doing a job that I just had no passion for because of the work environment.

I have a fear that if I became a nurse, what if I blank out when I really need to be an asset to the medical team?  What if I can't remember this or that?  I can't bear to think that I am letting others down that need help the most.  I guess all I needed to do was vent out how I felt about this entire situation.

With that said, I'm looking forward to my next set of HIM classes in two weeks.

We Have A Winner!

Monday was our last chance at having a house on post.  For me, I have the worst luck when I call the housing office.  But, when my husband calls five hours later, we are assigned a house!! Finally!! It is completely ridiculous how long people who come to Fort Drum have to wait for housing.  Now, we have to wait till early May to move in.  As long as we have a house to look forward to living in soon, I feel less stressed out.

Today, I finally have my son enrolled in school.  He starts tomorrow at a local public school.  We took a tour and he is so excited to go back to school as well.  He also gets to take a school picture tomorrow as well.  But, this mama has to drive almost half an hour tomorrow morning and afternoon for the rest of the week.  I am a bit reluctant to allow him to ride the school bus only because of the bullying situations that I've heard and seen on television.

In Hawaii, we don't ride the school buses to school.  You either take the city bus, catch a ride with friends or family, or you walk to school.  School buses in Hawaii is for field trips.  But, I'm hoping that he makes a lot of friends that way he has a great support system at school so that I myself will feel a bit more comfortable with letting him ride the school bus in the future.

Then, that leaves me with Mikayla all day long.  In September, I will be alone at home with homework.  Both my babies will be in school and hopefully I'll almost be done with the HIT program.  I'm hoping to finish my Bachelor's degree while we are still up here.  So, I guess we will see.  I'm a bit more excited for us to be moving into a house soon.  That way we can enjoy living up here.  Pray that we get to move in a lot sooner than later.  Till then!!

Homework on Easter

Today, we celebrate the day the Lord Jesus Christ rose from the dead to join Our Father in Heaven.  I'm grateful to have my faith in Jesus because I know He has always been here and there for my family no matter what.  We have just returned from eating dinner at a restaurant called Kingstar.  It is a Chinese & Korean restaurant.  The food reminded us of Hawaii although it didn't taste exactly like it.  The woman was very nice and I have a feeling we will be going there more often.

Other than dinner, we haven't done much today due to our transient status.  Usually, I would have games and egg decorating for my family to do.  I told my children that we will have to celebrate Easter later on when we do have a house.  I'm not normal thus I like to do things a bit backwards from time to time.

I should be doing my ten to fifteen page APA formatted paper for my final project for my ethics class but I'm having obvious trouble concentrating.  I figured let me write a quick journal entry here and maybe I won't be so mentally antsy.  Well wish me luck.  Happy Easter to all and hope you all had a great day.

Womanly Troubles

I believe the title says it all.  Although I am at the ripe age of twenty-six going onto twenty-seven this winter, I have medical issues for the last ten to fifteen years.  I think they seem to have increased after high school and on.  Migraines that makes me cry and hide in the dark like a vampire.  I don't even want to dwell onto what happens when THAT time of the month comes around.  After having two kids, my body has been fighting me.

I try to exercise when I can when I'm not running around after my babies.  I have to stick to a bland diet.  A few years ago for my birthday, I wanted to eat pho (Vietnamese noodle soup with meatballs, thinly sliced beef, and very good broth) and spring rolls.  Unfortunately for me, I took a few bites of my food and was doubled over in pain.  Burning, stabbing, swelling pain.  My stomach had felt like an atomic bomb had gone off and that the awesome broth I love so much was burning the lining of my stomach away.  I wanted to die.  My husband thought I was crazy.  After that, I was prescribed medicine by my doctor to keep the gastrointestinal pain away.

Since then, I have tried to stay away from foods that I know will trigger a reflux attack.  But, having travelled for months and of course enjoying great not-good-for-me foods, it finally came to rear its ugly head last night.  It was rib night at the local pub.  I was really excited because just the sound of eating half a rack of ribs made me even more excited for dinner.

First mistake: eating salad.  Any type of salad has always been the number one source of reflux for me.  I don't know why but it just has been like that since my first child.  The second mistake was putting a little pepper onto the salad and eating the onions in the salad too.  The onions have natural acid and since I did not take any medicine to protect my tummy, I was soon punished when my plate of dry rubbed ribs came out.  The rub was awesome on the ribs along with the peppered mushroom gravy on my mashed potatoes.  But, all it took was a few bites from the ribs and I was immediately in pain.

I felt my stomach had expanded so much that I could feel the bottom of my stomach protruding from beneath my sternum.  Then, the atomic bomb went off in my belly.  I couldn't finish my dinner.  So now as I write to you all today, I finally gave in and took my medicine at least half an hour before getting my breakfast today.  I hate taking medicine but it's something I have to get used to to be healthy and strong for my family.

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I don't know why but today I feel so out of energy.  My legs feel like I've been doing the running man, basketball jump drills, and everything else I do in an Insanity workout.  It feels like one of those days where you just don't want to get out of bed.  I've literally been in bed since breakfast.  I feel like I need to get Vitamin B, D, C, and Iron.  I take multivitamins with extra vitamin C everyday and it still doesn't feel  like its enough.  I can't even exercise because the migraine that has been squeezing my brain has been around for the last two days.  I just need to suck it up and drive on... after I rest.

These next week will be crazy for me and my family.  We will be finding out if we will be living on post or off post.  My son finally gets to resume school next week.  I just want to cry and scream like a big baby right now.. Trying not to lose my mind while everything is going at a turtle pace is really taxing. But we shall see. Till next time.

Searching for Hope

Good afternoon everyone!  I've been a bit drained the last several days.  We moved to the post lodge on Friday.  My friend is very pregnant and her husband had just returned home from training.  So we wanted give them precious family time before their new bundle of joy arrives.  We checked into the lodge which is decent but I'm still slightly depressed that we haven't gotten an offer on a home yet.  We had wanted to live on post due to the electricity and heating bills we would have to face if we lived off post. But, after my phone call to the housing office today, it had made me feel like we were losing ground again.

The woman who answered my call was very nice and courteous but I still feel sad.  We arrived on post on  March 5th.  Now that it is April, we were hoping that we would have received an offer by now.  But, I was informed that we have till April 10th to receive an offer and if we do not, we will be dropped down the waiting list because we had surpassed our 60 day waiting period.  This is totally frustrating.  Everywhere else that we have lived with the exception of Oklahoma, we received housing within the first two weeks we arrived.

I guess when the military decided to expand Fort Drum, they forgot to build an abundance of homes to accommodate the growing family population that needs homes to live in.  So, now the post is in the process of building new homes, but have no space for newcomers like ourselves to stay at aside from The Inn on post.  With that said, I have another challenge to face..

Registering my Kindergartener for school.  When we left Hawaii in February, we had hoped that we would receive housing right away in order to register our son for school.  But, due to the costs of living in a hotel for 60 days or more, we thought we could tough it out.  It's a good thing I'm like a mini drill sergeant having both kids doing schoolwork or something productive during the day so that they can be ahead once they go to school.  I can't even attempt to register my daughter for Pre-K because we don't know what area we will be at.  So I guess once I have Adam registered sometime this week for school, he will have to stay at that school till the next school year.

I'm trying to stay positive, trying to chill, trying not to dwell on it.  But it's difficult.  If we can't find a house to call home within the next two weeks, we will have to find a house off post.  It was something that we knew could happen but just not what we were hoping for.  I know that everything happens for a reason but still.  It would have been nice to be on post, close to the commissary, and not worry too much about being in a secure location.

Coffee and School

Okay, so I know what you all must be thinking right now.  That I have officially lost my mind and in my delusional state I am worshipping coffee.  First, please note that I already knew I was crazy and whacky in the head and will continue to love my coffee to death.  Like the Bridezillas you see on television, I am the same way when I don't have my coffee in the morning.  I took a break from coffee for about two weeks since buying my Keurig brewer.  I was drinking more of the hot cocoa cups because it was extremely cold outside and I wanted to drink something with marshmallows too.

On The Other Hand...

I am halfway through another term with my online class.  I am currently taking an ethics class for my degree.  I know it is essential I know the legal jargon that my new career has but... It's something I'm still getting used to.  I've usually dealt with medical ethics in regards to providing actual medical care.  I guess I'm ready to get a mini break for awhile.  Everyone else has been able to enjoy spring break but I still have till the last week of April before I can rest.  I have two terms for each quarter.  Term A and Term B.  Each term is 8 weeks long and very condensed to accommodate each individuals learning.  So about every four months, I complete a semester.  I love and hate this process at the same time.  I love it because each day I get closer to finishing a part of the Health Information Technology program.  Then, I hate it because I will have another year or two to face in order to finally graduate with my Bachelor's degree.  

Once I have had at least four years of experience in my field, I may consider getting my Master's degree.  But right now, I'm just tired.  This is where my coffee comes back into my life.  It keeps me awake while writing papers, studying for exams, and preparing for the week's lecture and discussions.  For the last two terms since moving from Hawaii, I had to cut down my number of classes so that I won't jeopardize my GPA.  I'm a bit obsessive-compulsive when it comes to doing schoolwork the correct way and making sure that I try to achieve the most points I can get from completing each assignment.  

Next term, I look forward to doing two classes with labs. I think I may need to add another class only to make sure I am taking the right amount of credits for this semester.  I swear I think about everything a bit much all the time, lol.  As Drake speaks to me through my Beats, I'm going to start on my work for this week.  

Pork Adobo with Chinese Long Beans

Most people have certain comfort foods that remind them of home.  My comfort foods are actually Filipino foods.  I didn't start cooking any type of Filipino foods until I joined the Army in 2004.  When I finally got to my first duty station, I began to cook pancit (rice thread noodles with assorted veggies and your preferred meat/poultry/fish), make lumpia (Filipino egg rolls), and even made bibingka (coconut mocha baked dessert) for the first time.  Pork adobo especially with potatoes or green beans is simply wonderful.  In my culture, salty is in.  Of course that is probably why a lot of Asians tend to have high blood pressure.  To this I would have to advise you to use salt/shoyu/patis in small amounts or occasionally, exercise, drink lots of water, and eat in moderation.  

Pork Adobo with Chinese Long Beans

Recipe

Chinese long beans (if available in your area)

pork for adobo or pork loin that you can cut up into big chunks as seen above

1/2 a bulb of garlic

vinegar

shoyu sauce

water

1 to 2 bay leaves

2 to 4 peppercorns

vegetable cooking oil

peeled and quartered potatoes (if desired)

cooked jasmine white rice or your preferred white or brown rice

Cooking Instructions

Place a couple of tablespoons of vegetable cooking oil into a 8 qt stock pot while on medium-low heat.  While the oil gets hot, smash and peel 1/2 a bulb of garlic.  Once smashed, place the garlic into the pot. Make sure to watch the pot so that it is not smoking.  Take your big chunks of pork and place them into the pot as well.  Brown the pieces of pork until each side is nicely browned.  While browning the pork, you can also add the quartered potatoes if desired.  From there, place enough water to cover the pork.  Also add about a cup of shoyu sauce and a 1/2 cup of vinegar.  You can also throw in the bay leaves and peppercorns at this time too.  Allow the ingredients in the pot to come to a boil.  Let the adobo to boil for about 10 minutes and then turn the heat down low enough to continue simmering for about 25-30 minutes.  Your kitchen will fill up with the wonderful vinegar-garlic-pork aroma.  Take a piece of pork and cut to see if the inside is still pink.  If it is pink place back into the pot to cook for another 15-20 minutes.  At this time, you should add the Chinese long beans.  You do not want them to be undercooked or overcooked.  Once the pork is no longer pink, check to see if your long beans have a slight snap to them.  

Another note:  if the sauce is too bland, simply add a little more shoyu sauce and vinegar until you have a nice balance of salty-acidic flavor.  From here, place a scoop or two of your preferred rice and the pork adobo with veggies into your bowl.  You can use the soup as a sauce on your ingredients and rice for extra infusion of flavor.  Lol, just writing this makes me hungry.  Hope you all enjoy and if you have any questions feel free to leave a comment.  

A Gypsy Kind of Life

Being "homeless" is no fun.  We have been living out of our suitcases since January 2012.  I had filled out our housing application and sent all proper documents required to the housing office on post via email.  I emailed our consultant to let me know if she received the documents but I never received a reply back.. Mind you I had sent these in November 2011 well before our move to New York.  Well, once we get here, the consultant tells my husband she hasn't received anything.  If my email did not go through, I would have had the dreaded Mailer-Daemon error message sent to my email.

It is a good thing we have a part of our Kapiolani Ohana with us here in New York.  We are staying with friends until we move to post lodging this week.  Not to mention that without a physical address, we cannot register our son for school.. So my baby has not been in school since mid-February.  I keep him busy by working on school work given to me by his teacher before we left Hawaii.  I have also bought him first grade workbooks so that he will be ready for first grade next school year.  I did not know that Kindergarten was NOT MANDATORY in the state of New York.  But, from what the school liaison has told my husband, our son is a bit more advanced in his curriculum than what the kids are currently learning in Kindergarten here.

I just hope that once Adam does return to school, he adjusts to it and gets the hang of things quickly.  Another issue I have to deal with is allowing Adam to ride the school bus to school and back.  In Hawaii, you either take The Bus (city bus) to school, your parents drop you off, or you or friends carpool/drive to school.  My dad was always there to pick us up and drop us off no matter what.  I believe it was more for our safety than anything else.  I guess I share the same paranoia as my parents along with having heard and seen the horror stories of children getting bullied on the school bus, that does not help with deciding to let my son ride the school bus.

So as we await for the military to issue us a house to call home for the next 2 to 3 years, I hope it is soon than later. I miss having my bed to lay on.  I miss my couch to lounge on.  I miss having my pots and pans to cook on.  I miss just being in my own space.  My kids miss having a place to call home too.  They ask us "when are we getting a house?"  We keep telling them soon.  But we know that it may still be awhile.  We are truly grateful to have a place to stay at for now. But, it's just not the same, you know?

I spoke with my aunt the other day.  I told her that we still didn't have a house yet.  She then refers to my family and I as gypsies since we have no place to call home.  It does feel like a gypsy kind of life when you live everyday without a home.  I've tried to stay calm and remember that there are many people in the world who don't have a roof or shelter to stay at.  With April right around the corner, hopefully we get some good news soon.  Keep us in your thoughts!

The Pinakbet Recipe (Filipino stew)

I've had some requests on the recipes I use when I cook.  On my Facebook page, I love to post pictures of the food I've made so that I can remember what I had done and to improve the quality of my love in food. So, I will post one recipe today and will continue to do so. Hope you all love it as much as I do!

Pinakbet 

This is a Filipino vegetable stew that you can eat with fish or chicaron (roasted pork belly).  Growing up, this would be one of the few Filipino dishes I would love to eat.  

Recipe

lima beans

tomatoes

Chinese long beans

Freshly cooked chicaron (roasted pork belly)

Japanese egg plant

fish sauce

garlic

onions

water

garlic powder

onion powder

pepper

I like my pinakbet to be somewhat salty.  I do not add salt because the fish sauce does that for you already.  First, I start with making the stew base.  Using an 8 quart stock pot, I fill the pot halfway with water.  Then, I add the fish sauce and then stir.  I would take a spoon to taste the soup to see if it is at the desired salty/fish taste (usually your preference).  I usually add about a one to two tablespoons of garlic powder and onion powder to add to the flavor.  I know, even though I will add the actual vegetables into the mix, it still adds to the stew.

While waiting for your base to come to a boil, peel and smash half a bulb of garlic.  Also, peel and cut onions into quarters and then slice up the quarters to where you have nice slivers of onions. Then, clean and dry your Chinese long beans.  Cut off both ends from each long bean and cut into 2 inch sections as seen above.  Clean the Japanese eggplant.  I slice mine into halves first lengthwise.  Then I would again slice the eggplant into smaller slices.  Next, I would take about two tomatoes, chop each one, and then I'm ready to put all the veggies into the stew.   I would add everything but the eggplant and Chinese long beans.  Save the eggplant and Chinese long beans for the later half of your cook time so that both are somewhat firm and not mushy.  Stir in the vegetables and continue to watch and stir occasionally. Also, don't forget to add your lima beans.  I usually buy them frozen from the local store and throw them in before the chicaron. Take your chicaron and slice and chop into cubes.  Place a majority of the chicaron into the stew.  By doing this, you give the stew more flavor.  Allow the chicaron to soften slightly and then add the eggplant and Chinese long beans.  Continue to stir occasionally.  Season with pepper and fish sauce if needed.  Serve with cooked white rice.

Making pinakbet usually takes me about 30-45 minutes with the preparation time included.  Remember to add or detract according to your preferences.  Till next time!!

Looking Back at 2011

At Home

Since 2010, I became a stay-at-home mom.  Many people think that staying home with your children is a breeze.  This is not the case.  As a parent, it is my job to educate my children.  Prior to being able to enter elementary school, I have had challenges in getting my kids to learn.  With my son, Adam, it has been a nice transition from home to school. Working with my four year old, Mikayla, has not yielded the same results.  Hopefully by this summer, I will have her basic school milestones covered and ready to go to Kindergarten in the fall.  

I sometimes want to pull my hair out because I feel so enclosed staying at home.  I love to go out and show my kids what is what and enjoy the sun and scenery.  But, that can't always happen can it?  While my son goes to school, my house is peaceful since it is just me and Mikayla.  But once Adam returns home, he and Mikayla go at it over paper, pens, toys, and me.

My family always says to me "Ohh, since you aren't doing anything can you go do this or pick me up?"  I am fine in helping my family out but I think sometimes they forget that I have a duty to my own family as well.  It is not always fun and games when staying home with children.  There must always be a balance and I still find myself struggling to find that at times.

Cooking & Baking

Abby Cadabby from Sesame Street

Cookie Monster from Sesame Street

Birthday Cake Pops for my cousin Chloe

More cake pops for Chloe

Nothing beats a homemade customized pizza 

The Grouchiest Guy on the Block.. Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street

Foofa from Yo Gabba Gabba!

Hello Kitty

Who isn't an Angry Bird?

Sesame Seed Bagel Bacon and Cheese Sandwich

Drunken Hens in the Process

One thing that my friends know me for is that I love to cook and bake.  I bought my very first Julia Child co-authored cookbook, Mastering the Art of French Cooking.  After watching Julie & Julia, I fell in love with Julia Child.  I have considered trying to cook everything in the first volume but I don't think my picky eaters at home would like that.  Also, thanks to Bakerella (Angie Dudley), I have learned to make cake pops of different characters and cakes.  It is then I realized that my creativity began to grow and my craving to continuously challenge myself took a life of its own.

As much as I loved to cook and bake, I needed more.  I needed another challenge.

Eenie Meenie Cheesecakes with a Cherry topping

Back to School Again

After one year of graduating from the local community college on Oahu with my AA in Liberal Arts, I was itching to do something else.  I know deep down inside that I should be a nurse because I love taking care of people and I have been working as a medical assistant off and on for the last few years.  But, I also had to take my wonderful children into consideration.  Everything I have done and will continue to do is for my family.  Becoming a nurse is a long and tedious process. I have friends that are nurses and I see how tired they are and are barely home due to overtime along with their crazy schedules.

I just couldn't bring myself to continue on that path.  I wanted to do something where I know I can have time to spend with my family without being too tired from work.  Thus, in the summer of 2011, I decided to pursue my Associate's degree in Health Information Technology.  Once I finish the Associate's track in 2012, I will continue on to attain the elusive Bachelor's degree in Health Information Management.

A Military Wife

Another aspect of my life is being married to a man in the military.  He is the reason we are now in New York and for our family as well.  Mannie and I have been together for almost ten years now.  Before we left Hawaii, we renewed our vows in a beautiful ceremony with friends.  Although he may annoy me at times, we have stuck by each other no matter what.  I have been blessed to have him home and away from the dangers a regular Army life entails.  For about five years, we haven't had to worry about deployments or long periods of training.  As we prepared to come back to the mainland, I had to mentally prepare for the challenges ahead.  Who knows where the Army will take him, but I know as a family we shall stand behind him no matter what.  

Unlike my other stay-at-home moms, one thing a military wife has to deal with is how to explain to your children that daddy won't be home for awhile.  That we can only see him sometimes on the computer or talk to him on the phone.  I respect the moms who have dealt with these situations and beyond because I'm still new at this myself.  

The first deployment wasn't so bad because I only had to deal with an infant at the time.  With the current military climate of deployments for missions that we still cannot fathom as to their occurrences, I know I will face another deployment.  I would hate to not wake up next to him smiling at me in the morning.  I would hate to see my children sad because they miss daddy.  But, I know that I have to continue to stay strong and hope for the best no matter what.  

Looking Forward 

With all that said, I will continue to keep looking forward to the present and future.  Being a full-time mom, student, and wife may seem insane but it's the only way to keep myself busy.  That is how you survive long days, training, deployments, and crazy children.  Always maintain a balance that you can handle.  Last but not least, keep faith in what the Lord wants for you and your life.  Because without Him, nothing is possible.

2012: Hawaii to New York

Our four years in my home state of Hawai'i was awesome.  I have the most amazing friends and wonderful family that is by my side no matter what.  When we decided that out of all the places we could move to for our next assignment was to be in the northern part of New York, we knew we would be facing many challenges.  I began a mental countdown of what we needed to do before leaving our comfort zone on Oahu.  We ate as much ramen noodles from Ezogiku Noodle House in Waimalu, ate dim sum (chinese dumplings) in Downtown/Chinatown, went around the island and ate at the famous Romy's Shrimp and Prawn Restaurant in Kahuku.

Yet, deep down inside I battled with my emotions.  For a long time, I have tried to keep a smile on my face or look angry most of the time so that people couldn't see the sadness I was feeling.   Prior to moving back home to Hawaii, my family and I were living on the mainland and in a bubble.  Once we came back to Hawai'i, that move showed me the true importance of having your family around and the duties I have as a daughter, niece, and granddaughter.  I am a role model and a shoulder to cry and lean on when times are rough or not.  

Transitioning from barely having a relationship with my mom to speaking with her at least once a week now has been a challenge for the both of us.  The first twenty five years of my life has been a roller coaster ride with my mom.  We are two similar people who approach life in different ways which tends to cause friction.  Now I feel that we have come to terms to disagree to agree when it comes to certain things but nonetheless, I am honored and grateful to have my mom and dad in our lives.  

Our last week in Hawai'i was the toughest.  We had so much to do in so little time.  I have grown extremely attached to my family in Hawai'i.  The sense of family that I've always wanted growing up seemed to elude me until 2008.  From there, we have endured so much together as a family and will continue to be by each other no matter what.  My younger brother, Ryan, I have come to lean on him quite a bit.  He is the best brother anyone can ask for.  Even though we may not say it to each other all the time, we both know that we have each other's backs.

For one month, we traveled from a tiny island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean to the West Coast and finally to our final destination here on the East Coast.  We had stopped to visit with friends, enjoy the scenery while driving two cars with two young children, ate a lot of food, and traveled about 3500 miles.  It may be more since we had to detour due to an accident on the I-40 East in Arizona and because I wanted to go hunting for Big Foot from Texas to Oklahoma on an unlit backroads tour.  I have also come to realize that I need to restart my walk with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  For each time I felt we needed help, I have always turned to Him and will continue to do so.  

But we survived as a family and are awaiting to see what life has to offer.  We are blessed by the Lord Jesus and are grateful to have His Guidance.  Hopefully we will have a house to call home (waiting on the military to issue us one, lol).  Also, this summer we are planning to go to Thousand Islands and possibly Canada.  Last but not least, to continue cooking, be an awesome mom and wife, graduate with my Bachelor's in Health Information Management next year, and to enjoy everything else in between.  See you again soon!

02.10.12 - I'm Leaving

My final day home.  Sitting in my comfortable bed on the eleventh floor of my hotel room, I continue to go through an array of emotions.  Happiness, sadness, grief, depression, anxiety..  This time, I feel like I'm leaving home for good.  Only to return for emergencies or celebrations.  It hurts because I have worked hard to rebuild my relationships with my family. My blood.


Tomorrow we leave for Los Angeles.  Then the new week will bring my small family an entire new experience.  Our children were still babies when we drove across the states to come to Hawaii.  Now, we shall go back that same way.  We will be seeing our friends and family.  Spending time with everyone we've missed.

But in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking about my family here in Hawaii.  How I've grown attached to them more.  Showing me that my duty to my family is more important than meager things in life.  I'm twenty-six right now.  Still young. Still learning about life.

My sense of independence is still here. Still burning like a slow flame.  I yearn for the adventure and the unknown.  Yet, as I get older, I want everything to be stable. I want to be able to not worry about him leaving. If he will return. Things like that.

I'm focused on my family. On me. On my career. Making everything work.  Trying to do what's best for everyone. Including myself.  I've been selfish over the years. Not wanting to share my time with anyone else.  The one person who has been there for me, my love, my heart. I try to prepare myself for the turmoil I may feel once again. Twice perhaps.


Being the wife of a soldier is extremely hard.  Raising children is hard on your own.  There are questions that will be asked, but you wish you didn't have to answer.  As I saw myself on the television last night, I replayed the emotions I felt that day in my mind constantly.  This doesn't help with my anxiety but I know it will all work out.

I'm happy that my family and I were given the chance to come back to Hawaii, enjoy the beauty of the islands, the food, and my extended family.  My heart will hurt when we are away once again but I hope that everyone continues to care for each other after we go.  My writing may be all over the place right now, but that's how I feel.

Emotionally mixed up deep inside.  This has always been home for me. No matter how much I've tried.  I hope New York will be nice and not too frigid as others say.  I'm ready, I'm leaving. We shall all meet again, see you all another day.